Sunday, November 30, 2014

Wilf's Box

I didn't realize the "gift or opportunity" of my shop falling down until I heard Wilf's story. You see, I first heard about Wilf at Easter time, March 2013. I was just preparing to go visit my parents in William's lake when I received a call from one of the Spritual volunteers at the hospital. She told me that Wilf had always wanted a pine box. I was devestated because I knew that the timing was totally shitty. I was heading out of town and I had no place to work on the box. But I agreed to meet with her at hospice house and have a conversation with her. As I prepared for the meeting I realized that there was no reason that Wilf couldn't have a pine box. I was sure that there was someone within Wilf's circle who had basic carpentry skills. When I sat down with Donna (his spouse) she told me that her son-in-law, Chris was a framer. I gave Donna a rough sketch of what the box should look like and suggested possible materials. I also included my cell phone number so that Chris could text or call me for directions. I never heard back from the family. I watched the obituary notices for the following weeks and nothing showed up. Months later I heard that Wilf was still alive. It wasn't until the following November that I heard the story. I sat down with Donna and her family. The conversation was filled with laughter and beautiful stories of how the making of the box had transformed the entire families grief process. I heard that when Chris's was first asked if he would build the box, he refused. He was not a finish carpenter. It wouldn't be "nice enough". He finally agreed to and like a true man never did call me for assistance but forged ahead on his own. Chris told me that the "mistakes" he made, ended up becoming the feature attractions of the box. The grandkids told me of neighbors walking by the carport where the box was being decorated and making jokes about the fact the box looked like a coffin. When they confirmed the neighbors suspicions, there was thoughts of disbelief. It was a running joke that almost every family member tried out the box before Wilf was finally put to rest in it. I have much more to say about this experience. Stay tuned for Wilf's box as one of the chapters in the new book I am writing. In the end my shop collapsing was an amazing opportunity because I realized I was not the central character in the transformation narrative of the building of a simple pine box. My "calling" was to give enough information and direction so that people could write/build their own narrative of creating a simple pine box ... This was where my energies need to be directed, cause I know that in my book I can provide such direction so that hundreds of people can take charge of their own funeral narrative. Stay tuned for more stories of transformation.