Saturday, June 22, 2019

What do you do when grief shows up as an uninvited guest?



This past couple of weeks my kite has been out flying high. One of the benefits of this experience internally is the creativity that flows during these times. I didn't have the voice to plan my first wedding, but this time round I have the unique opportunity to explore and express my ideas. Alli and I decided that we were not going to follow any specific traditions but allow things to flow organically. The theme of grief runs deep through this life celebration. Alli lost her mom to cancer, I lost Baxter to a MVI, and the farm where we are celebrating this event was previously owned by Nancy, who died this fall. (see older post on Can I interest you in the floor model) While some people would choose to sweep these realities under the rug, I realized that their spirits were going to be present regardless, and I didn't want to trip over the lumpy rug while I was dancing.

During this planning stage I have asked myself what it would look like if we invited these individuals and placed them in their rightful place. How does one do this and still maintain a festive celebratory event. (put the crisis counsellor/grief therapist/social worker in charge of your wedding planning of course) We did joke about placing urns on the table but this obviously does not provide the balance we were looking to achieve. Festive but honouring, respectful and tasteful. These are the words that are flowing through my mind as we explore the creation of a ritual that will be meaningful for all, and punctuate the beginning of our new lives together and the transitional point of my life of Job.

I am still awaiting some of these ideas to gell. I am putting it out to the universe and my network of peeps for input.

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