One Sweet Box

"JUST BECAUSE SOMETHING IS HARD, DOESN'T MEAN IT IS NOT HEALTHY"



I felt very honored when the family asked me to assist them in making a simple pine box for Terry. You see Terry was a very uniuqe individual. He loved his woodworking projects, he built his own house and numerous outbuildings on his acreage. I suspect that he would have wanted to build his own box but didn't think that he would be taken so soon. He was just too darn busy living each day to plan for tomorrow.

 In deciding what the box should look like it was obvious that pine needed to be the feature wood. If we would have had more time we could have used the lumber from the multiple lifts of lumber that Terry had cut and were air drying around his property. No one expected that Terry's life would be cut short at the young age of 47. Fortunately I had a basic shell available, so what was needed was to mount the bottom of the box and create a lid design. I got some feedback from the family and decided that a classic shiplap lid with a Z brace would be fitting. Little did I know that this mirrored many projects that Terry had made for his own place.

 It is not uncommon that when a sudden death occurs there are many things left unsaid and subtle tensions are experienced within relationships. I have seen how building a box can bring the family together and move a person out of their despair and helplessness into action. It was really amazing to see the family mobolize and start working on the box as soon as I got there. Within a short while the bottom was glued and screwed and the lid was being assembled.

Initially the family was going to have a private creamation and the body was not going to be present during the service. Once they started getting their hands moving and creating a box that expressed who Terry was it was obvious that his presence was needed during the service.

I would love to tell you the rest of the story but my job was done. The family knew what to do and I would only get in the way of their creativity. My role was to step back and allow the process to evolve. Since the family was healthy and had a strong foundation they did not need any external support to finish the project.

My heart was full when I heard tidbits of the story of the box. I suggested when the time is right I would love to hear the story and maybe we could add it to the blog or ... it could be a chapter in the book that I would like to write ... someday.

THE LESS WORK PROFESSIONALS DO FOR YOU IN ARRANGING A FUNERAL THE GREATER THE CHANCE YOU WILL NOT NEED PROFESSIONAL INTERVENTION TO HANDLE YOUR GRIEF REACTIONS LATER. (just my hypothesis)

The industry is right by your side to offer to do all the difficult parts in planning a funeral. What we tend to forget is that if we are left with nothing to do we are disengaged from the process of grief and end up sometimes staying stuck in our grief after all the busyness is over. This was not the case with the sweet family, they were actively engaged with all aspects of the funeral ... and that made all the difference.

I don't make urns ... I make little living boxes

One of the challenges when you make boxes is being asked to make ready made finished urns. The reality is that the boxes that I create are made for the living and not the dead. If people don't get it they are going to be disappointed with the "living box". I know that if I was focused on sales I would create generic boxes, that are uniform in shape and create a nice finished container. The problem is that this leaves the focus on the finished box and one is unable to shift their perspective with the box as their life changes. The whole process of grief is not stagnant. Who you are today may not resemble who you are to become in 3 months or 3 years. The danger with having a "finished product" is to view the cremains and keep them unchanged in your life forever. I do not want to dictate a plan for people and tell them what they "should" do with their box, however I don't want to give them the picture that the box is complete.

In my community we lost a cherished soul of 31 years. I spoke with her partner and this is what to told him. This is your living box. I understand at this time of your life you will most likely fill it with Alyssa's cremains. In time you will decide when you are ready to throw some or all of these to the wind. Remember when you do that you create space with the box. Please consider filling the box with other treasured pieces or memories.
You see the universe does not like a vacuum, once space is created it cries out to be filled.

New Box

I have been working on a new design. Let me know what you think.
The top is solid fir, with ship lap joints.
The side is solid fir with an aromatic cedar strip for contrast

The bottom is 5/8 fir plywood.

Byron's Box

My brother requested a box to be used within the BCGEU forestery component. I am just completing the box and delivering it this week.

2 Rivers Art Gallery Curio

I am currently working on one of my living boxes (curio) that I am donating to the two rivers art gallery. They are having a Halloween event and I am struggling a bit with the design of the box. I have always tried to avoid the perception of my boxes being a Halloween/gothic prop but more of conversation piece that helps people discuss death in a healthy, proactive way. It also doesn't help that this is a high end event for people outside of my income bracket.

I spent several hours with the Communications director (she came out to the cabin) and she obviously gets the concept, however displaying something without being able to tell the Narrative is always challenging. The background for the box is a dead garden so I was thinking of building the curio around a small tree sapling and have the branches intertwined with the shelves (whether or not this is do-able or attractive is another matter)

urn

Here are a couple of Urns that I made for a local Prince George client. They are 4x6x8 which is too small for a complete set of ashes. This client wanted them to both fit within a 10x10x11 columbarium.

The top is made from curly maple that the client's spouse had brought back from New Brunswick. He was a woodworker but had never incorporated them in any of his projects. I felt that it was fitting that it top his final resting box. Sides are fir and corners are dovetailed.

MCC fall fair curio

Here is the curio I donated to the fall fair. It was my clasic curio taper and I placed a plywood back since it would be used as furniture.

Home show winner

Elaina Hudyma was the proud recipient of the full size box at the home show. I delivered the box today. I requested that she send a pic showing the boxes final resting spot in her home.

Display Boxes

Bonnie Jackson from Yokohama Silk and Fabric Imports purchased 10 of my boxes as display cases. For more information on Bonnie's business see www.japanesefabric.ca

Participatory Grief

Apparently this phrase does not yet exist. I think it emphasizes that in order to work through grief it is important to engage and not get caught being passive. That is not to say that there are periods of time where exaustion sets in. I love this picture of my extended family finishing grandma's box.

I have been thinking about how this whole process started recently. I am constantly reminded what a blessing it was to build my grandmothers box. For more information please see http://www.grandmathiessenmemory.blogspot.com/. I think that I will start on that book I have been promising for the last couple of years. Grandma's box will be the first chapter, then I could include a chapter on owen, and a few other families that I have interacted with the past year.

Owen's box

I had the pleasure to help a family build a box this past weekend. The circumstances surrounding this death were horrific. Owen was the victim of a double homicide and his spouse was almost fatally injured in the attack. I believe that the coming together to create a personalized box allowed the family to regain some of the control and I hope will be a stepping stone in rebuilding their lives.

I think this experience reaffirmed that I am on the right path with Simple Pine Boxes.

See www.owensbox.blogspot.com
for more of this story.

small display/moving boxes

Home show spring 2010

Small Boxes

Artist box

Round Coffin display case

Gary from NR motors asked me to build a display case for his wake boards

Here is the finished product in his show room

This case is 7' tall

Canadian Funeral pyre

One of the issues that arises is how to integrate funeral customs that originate outside of the north american context. The funeral pyre is an excellent example. Pyre is from the greek meaning fire. It is when a structure of wood is created and the body is placed on the structure while it is lit on fire. In the viking context the funeral pyre is constructed on a boat.

(picture from Wikipedia)

Canadians trying to recreate this tradition utilize modern day crematoriums. One of our simple pine boxes can also faciliate this fire by creating a pure fire without extra material commonly contained in the modern day casket.

Coffin Violin Case

Here is a picture of the violin case I am making for Ariel.

Hardwood Box

I want to thank the Baha'i community in Quesnel for requesting this custom hardwood box. I think it turned out great. They requested that it be finished and have regular handles. Here is the the completed box.

Quesnel Home Show

The Quesnel homeshow was a great success. We had lots of input and people were very receptive to the concept of final resting boxes as furniture.





Here Ron is getting measured for a box.


Noah helped me on friday and Saturday. Bax came out for Sunday to help with sales.

Judy Easy was the winner of the draw for a free Box.