Wednesday, September 16, 2015

It takes a village ...

Almost everyone has heard the expression "it takes a village to raise a child". What most people would not understand is that it most certainly takes a village to send your son on the last canoe ride … On september 3rd at approximately 1:20 pm my son drew his last breath. It was on highway 93, 1.7 km north of saskatchewan crossing in alberta Canada. The circumstances of who was present is a bit sketchy. I hear accounts of people who attempted providing life saving efforts. I have read the medical examiners report, and in fact physically laid my hands on most of his body in the following days preparing him for a home funeral. I have felt his brokenness, and experienced the overwhelming joy and connection of the village of individuals who have stepped up to the plate and assisted me in his final send off. Let me take you back to that fateful day. More than 11 hours later an officer and 2 victim services workers were knocking on my door. I knew immediately that death had crossed my doorstep as I invited them in to my living room. I didn't need to know why at the time … (I think for me the why is still not forefront in my mind). At the time all that i was focused on was the "who". When I heard the name "Baxter Douglas Goerz" I immediately realized that I had just received my invitation to the club that no one wants to be in … but choice has no bearing. I knew this would rock my world view and challenge the assumptions and cognitive reframe strategies that I use everyday in my professional world; bad things happen to good people, shit happens, and the colloquial phrase that I never have used professionally "God doesn't give you anything that you can't handle" Please forgive me as I ramble. Know that my grammer isn't perfect, my thoughts are a bit disjointed, and my posts will seem out of order. Today 13 days later I need to try an organize my thoughts in word form. My reaction of "there are no words" now are filled with a cascade of words, memories, emotions and sensations. Today I need to open a blog entitled "it takes a village: Can the building of a box contain a fathers grief at the loss of his son? …"

https://boxmakingvillage.blogspot.ca/

5 comments:

Unknown said...

Very well written! I am invested if there is to be more.

Unknown said...

Very well written! I am invested if there is to be more.

BC Nummies said...

I am so sorry. I feel this as I read your post. I imagined hearing of my own son's death and it seems un-survivable. May God hold you and your family. Somehow.

Nicola Finch said...

Oh Brent... so dreadfully sorry about the death of your son! Thank you for writing this. Sending our love to you and your nearest and dearest... as ever, Nicola and David

Heather said...

This is the first I'm hearing of your great loss. My heart breaks for and with you. May the God of all things hold you gently.