One Sweet Box

"JUST BECAUSE SOMETHING IS HARD, DOESN'T MEAN IT IS NOT HEALTHY"



I felt very honored when the family asked me to assist them in making a simple pine box for Terry. You see Terry was a very uniuqe individual. He loved his woodworking projects, he built his own house and numerous outbuildings on his acreage. I suspect that he would have wanted to build his own box but didn't think that he would be taken so soon. He was just too darn busy living each day to plan for tomorrow.

 In deciding what the box should look like it was obvious that pine needed to be the feature wood. If we would have had more time we could have used the lumber from the multiple lifts of lumber that Terry had cut and were air drying around his property. No one expected that Terry's life would be cut short at the young age of 47. Fortunately I had a basic shell available, so what was needed was to mount the bottom of the box and create a lid design. I got some feedback from the family and decided that a classic shiplap lid with a Z brace would be fitting. Little did I know that this mirrored many projects that Terry had made for his own place.

 It is not uncommon that when a sudden death occurs there are many things left unsaid and subtle tensions are experienced within relationships. I have seen how building a box can bring the family together and move a person out of their despair and helplessness into action. It was really amazing to see the family mobolize and start working on the box as soon as I got there. Within a short while the bottom was glued and screwed and the lid was being assembled.

Initially the family was going to have a private creamation and the body was not going to be present during the service. Once they started getting their hands moving and creating a box that expressed who Terry was it was obvious that his presence was needed during the service.

I would love to tell you the rest of the story but my job was done. The family knew what to do and I would only get in the way of their creativity. My role was to step back and allow the process to evolve. Since the family was healthy and had a strong foundation they did not need any external support to finish the project.

My heart was full when I heard tidbits of the story of the box. I suggested when the time is right I would love to hear the story and maybe we could add it to the blog or ... it could be a chapter in the book that I would like to write ... someday.

THE LESS WORK PROFESSIONALS DO FOR YOU IN ARRANGING A FUNERAL THE GREATER THE CHANCE YOU WILL NOT NEED PROFESSIONAL INTERVENTION TO HANDLE YOUR GRIEF REACTIONS LATER. (just my hypothesis)

The industry is right by your side to offer to do all the difficult parts in planning a funeral. What we tend to forget is that if we are left with nothing to do we are disengaged from the process of grief and end up sometimes staying stuck in our grief after all the busyness is over. This was not the case with the sweet family, they were actively engaged with all aspects of the funeral ... and that made all the difference.